How to build win-win relationships
A real-life example
My friend, Irwin Stewart, is an outstanding example of someone who understands the long term value of building unconditional, win-win personal relationships with no expectation of any short term gains, other than a new friend.
I first heard of Irwin, a New Zealander, when he was appointed CEO of a well known MLM company in Australia. His secretary was the daughter of one of my oldest and closest friends, and she told me about her new boss.
His achievements in this position earned Irwin promotion to Director for the Asia-Pacific region, where he distinguished himself in establishing the company in several new countries.
This brought him to the attention of one of the company's most successful network leaders from the USA, who managed to persuade Irwin to join his organisation as both a distributor and as his right-hand man in the Asia-Pacific area.
My first contact with Irwin came in late 1998, when he called me to introduce himself and to see whether I'd be interested in exploring the possibility of joining his client's team. I'm always interested in looking at opportunities and, over the ensuing months, we were in regular contact, along with his client.
I enjoyed the experience. It was relaxed, sincere, professional, open and frank, there was never any pressure, and no attempts were made to manipulate me or my emotions. I appreciated and admired the intelligence and integrity of Irwin's attitude and approach. I also liked his client – and especially his intelligent approach to prospecting.
As things turned out, I chose to go in a different direction, for reasons of my own, but – at Irwin's suggestion – we've stayed in regular contact to exchange information and ideas, build the friendship and work toward a better environment for network marketing in general.
I received a copy of Irwin's excellent weekly newsletter to his own downline team and, every few weeks, he called me to catch up on things. These calls were always brief, laid-back and focused on me, my family, my health, my work. They were positive and I enjoyed them. The company and his client were only ever mentioned if I raised them.
Now, I wasn't naive enough to think that Irwin didn't hope that, one day, if I changed my mind for any reason, I'd join him and his client. I respected that. It was perfectly reasonable. But it was never discussed (nor deliberately avoided, for that matter – it was simply not an issue). And I'll tell you, quite frankly, that if my situation had changed, then Irwin would have been the first person I'd be talking with. Not because of the company. And not because of his client.
I'd be talking to Irwin for these simple reasons…
- Because he's a true network marketing professional.
- Because he understands the true importance of personal relationships.
- Because he values people for themselves, not just for their usefulness to him.
With Irwin, it's more than glib words. It's the real thing – his everyday actions.
He's earned my admiration. And he's earned my trust. He's a friend.
By the way, if you think Irwin's crazy investing all that time and effort in building our relationship, with no immediate prospect of me joining his client and his company, think about this…
How many pages of this web site are devoted to individual distributors and their MLM companies, with such glowing personal comments from me?
Try finding them.I'll come by in a month or so to see how you're doing! :)
PS: The company was bought by an international conglomerate about a year later, then merged with several of its rivals. (An object lesson in the risks of dealing with publicly-owned MLM companies.) Irwin resigned to pursue other interests. But we remain friends. We enjoy regular contact.
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