Part 4 of a 4-part series
Four Lethal MLM MistakesNo. 4: Buying Barker’s Eggs
by John Counsel
There are always lots of Barkers’ Nests full of Barkers’ Eggs just waiting for the unsuspecting in MLM to come along and buy them. Recently, though, there seems to have been a bumper laying spree, suggests The Profit Clinic’s John Counsel
Let me tell you a short tale about my first encounter with Barkers’ Eggs. Perhaps you’ll discover, a lot less painfully than I did, how dangerous they can be.
In 1951 I was a Grade Prep (5 year old) student at Colac East Primary School in the Western District of Victoria, Australia. My aunt used to visit us regularly and, whenever she came, she brought with her bags of Darrell Lea* lollies in attractive, multi-coloured carry bags. I used to collect these bags, and I had a different one for each day of the week. I’d carry my school lunch in them.
In those times of political incorrectness, environmental vandalism and wanton disregard of animal rights (we used much less sophisticated forms of emotional blackmail back then), small boys like me used to collect birds eggs. We treasured our collections, proudly displaying them along our bedroom window sills, the malodorous contents having been carefully removed by “blowing” them. Once dry, they were displayed and exchanged in crude imitation of our fathers’ high-flying business deals.
One morning, a short distance from school, it occurred to me that I had a problem. Or I would have when lunch time arrived, because I’d just eaten my lunch and school hadn’t yet started.
It was too late to return home for a replacement. Thinking quickly, like a true entrepreneur- in-the-making, I began looking for something that could be exchanged with other boys at school for some sandwiches. Spying a barker’s nest in the grass nearby, I quickly extracted the small, fragile white eggs and placed them in my now-empty lunch bag.
At school, the only boys I could see were a group of grade three and four boys, all three or four years older than me. In true entrepreneurial style I marched up to them and asked if they had any rare barker’s eggs in their collections.
They were tremendously impressed and keen to do business. The deal was this: if they would each give me a sandwich, biscuit (cookie) or cake, I would allow them to insert one hand into my colourful lunch bag and take out a barker’s egg for their collection.
After some argument between themselves over who would have first selection, they duly handed over their sandwiches and cakes, then I held aloft the Darrell Lea lolly bag.
Their excitement was extremely short-lived. So was mine.
Once they discovered the reality behind the fancy name and glamourous packaging, they retrieved their goodies from my possession, rammed the crumbling barker’s eggs into my face and hair, and gave me a thorough beating for good measure.
(If you haven’t guessed by now, barkers’ eggs are those small, white, round objects “laid” by “barkers” on lawns and footpaths… woof!)
The moral of this sorry tale is exquisitely simple: no matter how attractive the packaging, and no matter how deceptive the name, stale, bleached dog poo is still just stale, bleached dog poo when you drag it out into the light of day. The only real difference is that the stink is made even worse by your deception!
So let’s examine this transaction:
Did the dog NEED this “product”?
Of course not. It was useless waste to be disposed of as expeditiously as possible.
Did the grade three and four boys NEED it?
No. (Indisputably.)
Did the dog WANT it?
Emphatically not. (That’s why it left it on the grass.)
Did the grade three and four boys WANT it?
Emphatically yes! (At first, anyway).
Who was smartest?
The boys?
Me?
Remember… any fool can get people to want what they already want (but don’t need). Ask any drug dealer! It requires no skill, no talent, no integrity… only a suicidal, Win-Lose attitude to others on your part.
The Four Cornerstones of Success
Success in any field – including MLM (especially MLM!) – is built on four cornerstones. If any of them is missing, the entire structure will topple over.
1. Vision
You need a clear vision of what you want to achieve. Vision is the first essential attribute of true leadership. It’s also the last, because it becomes the final reality of the process.
2. Time
No matter how much leverage you apply, through sponsoring, merchandising and other duplication strategies, you can’t eliminate the need to invest time, especially in the initial business building stages of MLM.
Sure, if you work intelligently you can ultimately sever all connection between the time you invest and the money you earn. But that’s a consequence of success. It doesn’t cause it. Don’t confuse the two.
3. Effort
Another dirty word for a lot of MLMers, but just as indispensable as time when it comes to building success. Once again, you can leverage your efforts until you finally break all connection between your effort and your earnings. But, like time, that’s a consequence of success, not a cause.
4. Discipline
Without discipline (self-discipline!) you’ll never invest the time and effort required to realise your vision. And without that vision to motivate and guide you, you’ll never have the discipline you need to achieve success.
It’s so simple, common-sense and logical that it should be obvious to anyone. But it’s not, or the majority of people in MLM wouldn’t waste so much of their time and effort in the undisciplined quest for the “fast buck” – by avoiding any semblance of time, effort or discipline!.
What should be equally self-evident is that any business built on a foundation of laziness and greed offers pretty miserable prospects for your long-term financial security.
Because neither of these facts is self-evident, barkers’ egg MLM “opportunities” spring up continually, typified by concepts and strategies that are proven duds behind the fancy names and glitzy packaging that hide them.
Barkers’ Eggs in MLM
Any MLM “opportunity” that offers a way to succeed without time, effort or discipline is almost certainly a barkers’ egg. You rarely realise how much time and effort you’re wasting until the realisation dawns that you’re not making any money. You’re usually just spending it, instead.
Similarly, beware of MLM programs that use fancy names and packaging to disguise methods or concepts that are proven failures.
An example: The automatrix has been an consistent flop as a way to build MLM since it was introduced in the 1980s. Even the name is a barkers’ egg. It’s often little more than a distant relative of the old, illegal pyramid selling schemes.
Of all the automatrix structures, one stands head and shoulders above the rest as a failure, in crash after spectacular crash around the world. That’s the 2 x 12 matrix. No other automatrix has ever come close to matching its dismal record.
Now, out of the blue, we have a new crop of resurrected 2 x 12 automatrix schemes… but with fancy new names and fancy new packaging to obscure the very ordinary reality.
Instead of a breakaway 2 x 12 matrix, they’re now non-breakaway, open-ended 2 x 12 matrices where you simply re-invent yourself downline as your own “great-great grandchild”. To obscure the reality even more, they sport fancy new names to create the exciting illusion of something fresh and different.
Reality Check!
A “Binary Lateral” plan is nothing more than a fancy way of saying “two- sided” (just as “Barkers’ Egg” is nothing more than a fancy way to say “stale, bleached dog poo”). Reality can’t be kept hidden for very long once the misleading packaging is stripped away. Nor can your motive. It’s plain old deception (or stupidity, if you really believe the nonsense), no matter how noble your claims.
Another example: Just because a scientific principle applies to the growth of plants and animals doesn’t mean it has any relevance to MLM reward systems, no matter how emotionally appealing the notion may sound.
The “Fibonacci Sequence” may stop your nose from growing as long as your arm, but using it as fancy packaging and a fancy name may hide just another Barkers’ Egg if you’re not careful. Especially if it’s wrapped up in the appealing concept of making money before you buy any products. And especially if that means you could be in breach of the Australian Trade Practices Act. (It did. And it was. It's now long gone, and deservedly so.)
Remember… the courts judge you on the reality of what you do, not the illusion of what you claim to be doing. Hiring a MLM company as a “marketing consultant” to do your recruiting for you may sound like a quick, effortless way to build long-term financial security. But if the reality is that your rewards are coming from what is effectively a “head-hunting” fee, you could find yourself in illegal pyramid selling territory, facing the hefty fines and jail terms that apply to people and organisations convicted of inducing others to join such schemes.
Do your homework!
Look beyond the fancy labels and glamourous packaging. Take a long, hard look (and an even longer, harder sniff) at what’s behind them. You might just save yourself a lot of time and effort — and court-applied discipline!
Remember…“all that glitters is not gold” is especially true of MLM.
*Darrell Lea is a confectionary maker — one of the finest in Australia. Their stores are beacons of retail brilliance, with dazzling visual merchandising. For a delightful sequel to this childhood episode, 45 years later, click here. To return to the story, click here.
© 1995 John Counsel. All rights reserved. No reproduction by any means permitted without prior written consent of the copyright owner. This article appeared originally in Australian Business & Money-Making Opportunities magazine.
©1998 The Profit Clinic. All rights reserved. This page updated 1 October 2005.
