Why relationships are so vital in business
Part 3 – The Relationship Model
by John Counsel
On this page we’re examining the relationship model – the component parts that show cause and effect as a natural chain reaction. It forms the basis for creating strategies that will give us unrestricted access to the resources we need to create the results we desire.
In this diagram, I've numbered and colour coded the various components. Each component – you, the other person and the numbered items – is a link to its explanation. Simply click on any item and you’ll be taken to its explanation.
Bear in mind that this is an abstract explanation of a concept. You’ll be able to make more sense of it all once we begin to look at the practical applications on the following pages.
Overview | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Comparison | Links
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YOU |
| You are the ultimate “cause” in the relationship model. Your desired result in initiating this relationship is to enjoy use of the other person’s resources. |
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The other person |
| They have resources that you don’t possess, but which you need in order to create a desired result. This could be a customer who has the money you want to exchange for your products in order to make a profit. Or it could be a supplier, who has products or services you need, etc. Or it could be an external professional with knowledge and skills you need in order to succeed. |
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#1: The Basis of the Relationship |
| This is your attitude toward the
other person. It reflects your true values. Because it’s an attitude, it’s emotional
in nature. It links the two of you, but it really says everything about you
and nothing about the other person. Note – it is NOT your motive. Motives are not emotional. They're rational. |
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#2: Your Personal Motives, Attitudes and Behaviour |
| There’s a ripple-like, cause-and-effect
connection between your motives, attitudes and behaviour. You motives (cause)
shape your attitudes (primary effect) which influence your behaviour (secondary
effect. To change behaviour, we need to focus on motives, not attitudes.
Attitudes are effect, not cause. So our motives, attitudes and behaviour determine what we “send out” to the other person (the blue dotted line) and, in turn, will determine how they perceive us, and what they then “send back” to us (the green dotted line). For this reason, YOU are the ultimate cause in the relationship model, because this attribute starts the sequence that will determine what we receive back from the other person involved. (See #5.) |
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#3: Your Character |
| This is what others will perceive you to be, and will determine their response to you. Bear in mind that, while words may conceal, actions reveal. You may fool them with what you say, but what you do will show your real motives. |
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#4: Internal Effect |
| This is the immediate, automatic INTERNAL effect of 2 and 3. It has nothing to do with how others perceive you or feel about you. It will determine how YOU feel about you. It will happen whether or not there is any external effect (result) from the process or not. |
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#5: Perception of YOU |
| This is what the other person perceives your character to be (3). This is actually the reverse process of #2. There, your motives shaped your attitudes, which influenced your behaviour. Here, she’s trying to work out your attitudes and motives from your behaviour – what you do and say. She can’t actually perceive your motives and attitudes directly – only indirectly, through your behaviour. |
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#6: Emotional Response |
| Based on her perception of your character,
the other person will experience an emotional response – how she FEELS
about you. Are you predictable? Is your behaviour desirable? Are
you trustworthy? Just as #2 was the pivotal factor in what you “sent out”, this attribute is the pivotal factor in what you’ll receive back. This will determine whether or not she’ll make her resources available to you. |
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#7: Behavioural Response |
| This is what she actually does
in response to your perceived motives, attitudes and behaviour. If her perception
of you changes, this response can change. This action will cause a chain reaction of effects culminating in #11. The irony here is that the ONLY way you can “control” this response is through items 1, 2 and 3. It’s illegal to even try to control it by force or deceit – the usual self-defeating methods adopted in politics and business. |
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#8: Conditions |
| Her decision will create the conditions in which the rest of the process now takes place. |
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#9: Accomplishment |
| Depending on the conditions prevailing, you now proceed to implement your strategy through directed activity. |
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#10: Result |
| This is the natural outcome, or effect, of the process set in action by you. |
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#11: Fulfilment |
| This is the emotional payoff of the process – how you feel about the result you obtained. It’s the natural consequence of reaping what you’ve originally sown at the beginning of the process. It can’t be imposed. |
